Friday, February 26, 2010

Jokes: 2/26/10

Yesterday Charlie Sheen admitted himself to Preemptive Rehab, or what people are calling "prehab". So in about two days get ready to hear about his first "prelapse".

On the topic of monkeys in rehab, today there was a monkey that was sent to rehab. He was in a Russian zoo, and the zoo owners said that they needed to cure the monkey of its smoking and drinking habits. They also said that now they completely regret building a 7-11 right into his cage.

Dick Cheney is said to be recovering from his fifth, count it, fifth heart attack that he sustained only a few days ago. Though the former Vice President was in high spirits, saying "At least my next one will be free."

Today a 507 carat Petra Diamond sold for $35 million dollars, so think about that while you sit on your couch you got for free on craigslist.

In Britain, a department store is launching a gift registry for people who are not just getting married, but now for people who are getting divorced. This is a great idea, just as long as this department store sells kleenex and vodka.

Also in Britain, a few high-ranking British politicians have fallen victim to a scam on their twitter accounts. And yet Gary Busey still tweets unabated.

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