Today people across America are going green -- but not in the good, helpful way. As a result of severe winter storms, there will be a shortage of Shamrocks this year, which is putting a lot of St. Patrick's Day festivities on shaky ground in Ireland. Wait, you can't get drunk on shamrocks? Oh, then never mind. Game on.
A man in Montana is alive after being stuck in a snowbank for four whole days. Unfortunately snowbanks in America aren't like regular banks in America, which disappear after only two days.
The Smithsonian has just opened a $21 million exhibit hall about human evolution. Devout creationists believe the exhibit exists, but thinks it was actually built by god in seven days.
A U.S. fertility clinic is facing problems after they offered British Woman at a seminar a chance to win free fertile eggs in a raffle. Though this plan went over a lot better than their previous idea, sperm toss.
Fox has announced that it will release the DVD for "Avatar" in three different versions over the next year, releasing a 2D version, a 3D version, and an ultimate extended special edition version. A Fox spokesperson said "By the end of the year we might finally be able to buy that unobtanium we've always wanted.
Happy St. Patty's
-Jesse O' McSachs