Healthcare!!! Yesterday night a bill finally passed to enact healthcare reform in America. We should all celebrate by getting unnecessary surgeries. The bill states that health insurance will be much like car insurance, in that it will become legally mandatory, and it will be sold to you by a talking gecko.
A volcano has erupted in Iceland causing hundreds to flee. Now if I remember correctly, the pneumonic device was "Greenland is Icy, Iceland is covered by molten ash."
Actor Ben Affleck has launched a new campaign to raise awareness about the atrocities committed against women in the East Congo in America. At the same time, the East Congo is launching a campaign to raise awareness about Ben Affleck in America.
In the NCAA tournament, low-seeded Cornell has dominated another round of play. Apparently college basketball tournament games have a verbal section now.
FOX has released a list of the riskiest Online Cities in America. Finally a list of cities with the word "Riskiest" that Detroit doesn't automatically top.
Astronaut Buzz Aldrin will be on the next season of "Dancing With the Stars", but everyone thinks he's probably just to come in second right behind Neil Armstrong, again.