Monday, May 24, 2010

The Monologist 5/24 (BACK BABY!)

A four-year old Michael Jackson impersonator from Beijing is taking the world by storm with his dance routines inspired by the deceased pop-star. As an extra precaution for his safety, the boys pediatrician has already been arrested.

Yankee Stadium has officially banned apple's IPad device from being brought inside the park. Park officials are apparently afraid that users could use the device to "watch a more entertaining sport."

The Space Shuttle Atlantis is closing in on 120 million miles traveled in its life span. This is particularly amazing considering most American-made vehicles never make it to 120,000.

Lindsay Lohan has been ordered to wear a monitoring bracelet that will make her abstain from drugs and alcohol. Though they can't stop her from spinning around in a circle until she's dizzy. Yet...

Paul McCartney will be playing for Barack Obama at the White House next month. This is unless Yoko Ono somehow screws it all up.

The eight survivors of an Air India flight that crashed Saturday are apparently being offered jobs with Air India as compensation when their work permits were lost in the crash. Because the best way to overcome a tragedy is to have to work at the source of the tragedy for fifty hours a week.

Speaking of plane crash survivors, the finale of "Lost" aired last night. For viewers of the show they finally figured out the fate of the people on the island. For non-viewers of the show, they figured out that their friends don't like you as much as they like "Lost".

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