Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The Monologist: 7/14/2010

Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston are getting engaged. They are on the cover of US Weekly, where Bristol says that telling her mother will be "intimidating and scary". So instead of just telling her the news, Sarah Palin will find out the way everyone else does, while checking out at the grocery store.

A gubernatorial candidate in Colorado is in trouble today for apparently plagiarizing a part of an essay by a famous judge for his campaign. He said he would have written the quote himself, but his grandma died and his computer was all messed up again, he swears.

AT&T U-Verse subscribers are worried today as the company threatens to take away the popular AMC show "Mad Men" from their service. One fan was quoted as saying "Just give us one more season, just in case something actually happens in this one."

After his last heart attack, Dick Cheney has now been outfitted with a new heart device to combat congestive heart failure. With this news, he has climbed over Dr. Doom on the list of most menacing robotic super-villains.

Bono announced he is fully recovered after having an emergency back surgery. Doctors found that the problem with his back was that it had to hold up his giant ego for all these years.

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