Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Monologist 1/11/11

Jersey Shore's "Snooki" will be releasing a novel she wrote called "A Shore Thing". She decided to not go with her original titles, "A Tale of Huge Titties", or "The Color Orange".

The earliest known winery has been found in a cave in a mountain in Armenia. Scientists expect to make a similar discovery in a few days, the earliest known "rich douchebag."

Korean Director Park Chan-Wook has directed the first major motion picture that was shot completely on an iPhone. This film was almost not the first, as Hollywood decided not to distribute my iPhone movie, "Jesse Draws Things On Passed Out Friend"

Jay-Z and Kanye West have officially released the first song from collaboration, "H.A.M.". While the song is good, fans are eagerly awaiting the next song, when the two artists will have a way with "B.O.L.O.G.N.A."

MySpace has announced that it will be cutting almost half of its employees. It looks like Tom is about to make a lot more enemies.

Internet sensation and former homeless man Ted Williams was briefly held by police in LA after a loud argument with his daughter. Cops are not releasing who called the police, though most people assume it was a team of "jealous hobos."

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