Monday, March 28, 2011

The Monologist 3/28/11

A deadly cobra has escaped inside the Bronx Zoo, and the whole reptile section has been closed. While it is unsafe to be in that part of the zoo right now, it's still a much safer place to be than anywhere else in the Bronx.

It was announced that Jimmy Fallon will be the new video host of the Universal Studios tram ride in Hollywood. The ride will change a little bit as well. Not only will he be replacing Whoopi Goldberg, the ride will be extended 15 minutes to compensate for Fallon cracking up in the middle of all of the segments.

The latest tiger census in India shows a marked increase in the numbers of the endangered predator. While those numbers are up, the numbers of 'tiger census takers' are way down.

A study shows that teens who get gastric-bypass surgery lose bone density with in the next 2 years. Now if they get fat again, they can't used to excuse that they are "big boned".

Scientists have discovered a new fiber that is stronger than kevlar, but is made entirely from bananas and pineapples. It has been predicted that this new material will be what cars will be made with in the future. To compensate for this predicted lack of pineapples and bananas, smoothies will now be made of sheet metal.

The company 'Harry and David', which specializes in fruit baskets, has just filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy. You know you're in trouble when you can't beat the competition from "Edible Arrangements".


The movie "Battle: Los Angeles" is still the top-grossing film overseas. More people would've gone to see the disaster movie in the U.S., but they decided that if they wanted to see Los Angeles collapse they could wait a week when gas hits $5.00 a gallon.

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