Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Monologist 3/30/11

A rare dinosaur has just been discovered in an oil-sand expanse in Canada. While we don't know much about the species at this time, we can assume that it was humble and loved hockey.

In his new book, Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen slams Bill Gates for trying to grab more shares of the company from him. The book is called "Paul Allen: The Vast Complaints Of A Multi-Billionaire"

An Indian state has banned a new biography about Gandhi because they claim it describes the leader as a racist bisexual. Apparently the Gandhi biography was mistaken for the biography of Glenn Beck.

Google announced that the first city it would bring a brand new ultra-fast broadband network to will be Kansas City. A representative for google said "It's a trial program, so first we're going to use a city that has no information to transmit."

A morbidly-obese Ohio man was founded dead in his chair that he couldn't get out of for two years. The report said that his roommates found him, which should make you feel okay about how disgusting your roommates are.

Judge Judy is in the hospital after feeling ill during a taping of her show. While she should be back soon, this is great news for any mechanic who owes $300 in damages to somebody.

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