Monday, April 18, 2011

The Monologist 4/18/11

Match.com is announcing that it will begin to check that its members are not also on the national sex offender registry. In a similar move, J-Date will begin to check that all its members are good to their mothers.

There is a report stating that Camel meat could be the newest big food export from Australia. Experts are saying they are making this switch because Outback Steakhouse has "completely destroyed the reputation of beef."

The Philadelphia Orchestra has declared that will file for chapter 11 bankruptcy. When asked about it, a member of the horn section said "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMpXAknykeg"

Cincinnati Reds pitcher Mike Leake was arrested today after he was discovered to be shoplifting from a department store. He's on my fantasy team, and I better not lose a point for "Caught Stealing".

After being arrested this weekend for domestic abuse, Nicolas Cage is back on set filming today. While his crime was terrible, whatever movie he's making right now is inevitably going to be an even worse crime against humanity.

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