Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Monologist 5/27/11

Google is trying to launch "Google Wallet", which lets you use your smartphone as a primary means of payment. This is great news for everyone, but especially for drunk people, who now won't have to choose between buying something stupid on eBay and calling all of their ex-girlfriends.

British pop-star Cheryl Cole has been dropped as a judge of Simon Cowell's new singing show "The X-Factor". Reports say the formal reason they fired her was because they thought US audiences would have trouble with her accent. Oddly enough, they think US audiences won't have a problem with Paul Abdul's neck.

The "Mullet Bandit" has struck again. A mullet-wearing man has reportedly robbed another bank in Ohio. Nobody knows exactly why he has started to rob banks, but we can only assume he is trying to get enough money to pay for the rest of his haircut.

According to Sony, development of the PS4 has just begun. I'm being told it has already been hacked twice.

Amy Winehouse has once again checked into a drug treatment program. Hehe, you guys, it's a lot like that song she sings. You know. I think it's called "I'm a Gross Drug Addict".

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