Friday, January 21, 2011

Monologist Announcement!!!

Comedy is hard. Like, really hard.

When I set out to do this project every day, I might have bitten off just a little bit more than I could chew, and I should have known. I love late-night talk shows; I really do. The problem is, it's well known (and pretty much undeniable) that the monologue is the worst part about the modern late-night talk show.

When you're on four days a week every week, nobody says your material has to be timeless. It just has to be relevant, or recent, and that seems to be enough. The material can be pretty middling, and without the advantage of a charismatic or self-depricating Redhead host, it can be near impossible. I'd hate nothing more than to commit to mediocre comedy.

And on the other hand, SNL's "Weekend Update" is a great example of what I'd like to accomplish. A whole week's log of great jokes, not to mention great photoshop gags? It sounds like paradise for me -- so that's exactly what I'm aiming to do. It's quality over quantity in the best way possible.

So starting in the near future, I will be committing myself to putting out the best week of jokes I can come up with, along with funny photoshop accompaniments -- using my very rudimentary knowledge of a Photoshop Edition so old that the pop-up paperclip has since died of old age.

Get psyched. And thank you to all of my friends who follow this blog. It really means a lot to me -- I intend to give back in a huge way.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Monologist 1/11/11

Jersey Shore's "Snooki" will be releasing a novel she wrote called "A Shore Thing". She decided to not go with her original titles, "A Tale of Huge Titties", or "The Color Orange".

The earliest known winery has been found in a cave in a mountain in Armenia. Scientists expect to make a similar discovery in a few days, the earliest known "rich douchebag."

Korean Director Park Chan-Wook has directed the first major motion picture that was shot completely on an iPhone. This film was almost not the first, as Hollywood decided not to distribute my iPhone movie, "Jesse Draws Things On Passed Out Friend"

Jay-Z and Kanye West have officially released the first song from collaboration, "H.A.M.". While the song is good, fans are eagerly awaiting the next song, when the two artists will have a way with "B.O.L.O.G.N.A."

MySpace has announced that it will be cutting almost half of its employees. It looks like Tom is about to make a lot more enemies.

Internet sensation and former homeless man Ted Williams was briefly held by police in LA after a loud argument with his daughter. Cops are not releasing who called the police, though most people assume it was a team of "jealous hobos."